Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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