I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
accomplished twins. life is a go
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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