Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
