Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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