i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
