I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
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Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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