stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
