Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i barfeds in our rink
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
