He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
