yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
