i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
