does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
