why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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