If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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