how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
