Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
