is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
