I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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