your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
