I just pynch a tree in the face
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
