Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
