UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
