Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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