Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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