her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
