called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
