i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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