she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
