Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've blown a few things in my day
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
