Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
