Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
