and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
