haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize