is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
