its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
