Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
