Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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