Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
