Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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