If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
