Ambien. No doubt about it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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