I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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