I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
