So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
