dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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