Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
