talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
