Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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