You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
