I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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