You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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