It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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