You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
